Control
Just as too much physical force can break a child’s bones, too much
control can break a child’s spirit and fracture his psyche. It can cause
a splintering of self, causing a child to disown some parts of himself
and to inflate others.
Children growing up with a tyrannical parent often become what
is referred to by professionals as hypervigilant, meaning they develop
extraordinary abilities to notice any warning signs of an impending
attack. They learn to recognize subtle changes in the facial expressions
and voice and body language of others as signals of anger, intoxication,
dissociation, or sexual arousal. When they sense danger, they attempt
to protect themselves by either avoiding or placating the other person.
In addition, children with a tyrannical parent usually carry around a
great deal of repressed anger—repressed because they cannot afford
to admit they have it, much less risk expressing it.
We’ve all heard of perfectionistic parents who push their children
to excel in a particular sport, in academics, or in other endeavors.
Culled from Healing your emotional self by Beverly Engel
Abdulkareem,Taoheedah kehinde
Comments
Post a Comment