Guilt, shame, and anxiety each have active and passive expressions. The active style of handling guilt involves taking on duties, obligations, and burdens. We tell ourselves, “Don't forget all the things you have to do!” We feel pressured to get things done and never have enough personal time. It gets worse and worse as things pile up. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything. We do not realize we are doing it to ourselves by assuming increasing burdens in order to deflect or suppress our guilt feelings. Instead, we feel as if the duties and obligations have a power of their own to demand our attention.
In the later stages, we feel like we are “coming apart” or “breaking down” from overwork and worry. We keep thinking of the proverbial camel—one more straw will break our back. We worry over what will befall us and our families if we become ill or disabled. Yet, sometimes, we wish for illness as a way to get a precious few minutes of relief. We certainly cannot vacation—at least, not without taking along a mountain of work. Our friends begin to wonder if we will collapse under the strain.
Culled from Guilt,Anxiety and Shame by Peter R. Breggin
Abdulkareem,Taoheedah Kehinde
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